🎸 “We’re Not Making Music, We’re Making Musicians” – The Great Mikey Suno Clownshow
🧢 Fanboy Level: Maxed Out
SunoFanboy #1 basically slid into this interview wearing a Suno varsity jacket, clutching a Suno body pillow.
Every 10 seconds:
“I just love you, Mikey. Please notice me again.”
It’s like he thought he was interviewing Harry Styles, not some dude tokenizing MP3s.
🎮 Music is a Video Game Now?
Mikey:
“Nobody half-plays video games the way they half-listen to music.”
Bro.
Nobody grinds Fortnite skins the way people accidentally get married to “At Last” either.
You’re not “evolving” music into video games , you’re downgrading art into a loot crate.
Next up from Mikey’s brilliant mind:
🎤 Suno: Battle Royale Mode , 100 AI tracks drop from a plane, last song standing wins.
🎩 Magic Words: “Transformer Model”
Fanboy: “What’s under the hood?”
Mikey: “Transformer model… but trust me, it’s the audio representation where we are geniuses.”
Translation:
“We cribbed open-source models, slapped MP3 stickers on them, and called it ‘innovation’.”
If he says “tokenize” one more time, I’m gonna tokenize this whole interview into a non-refundable parking ticket.
🧠Scaling Laws = “Nah, we don’t need bigger models”
Mikey:
“Unlike text, music doesn’t need bigger models. It’s all about taste.”
Yeah, sure.
Tell that to the AI model that just coughed up “Sad Guitar Emotional Run Song #432” for the 500th time.
Taste?
You’re training on copyrighted Billboard sludge and calling it artisanal AI curation.
⚖️ “We Definitely Didn’t Steal… Except, Well, Yeah, We Trained on Copyrighted Music”
Mikey, carefully lawyered:
“We know there’s copyrighted stuff in there… but it’s normal! Everybody’s doing it!!”
Oh wow, everybody’s robbing banks? Guess that makes it fine!
Breaking: Suno announces new slogan , “If Everyone Jumps Off a Legal Cliff, We Jump Harder.”
🎻 “Building a Bigger, Brighter Future of Music”
Translation:
“We made infinite cheap garbage and tanked the value of actual human musicianship, but hey, you got to prompt ‘sexy Australian sad bangers’ at 3AM, so you’re welcome.”
🛑 Quantum Computing Hot Takes
Fanboy (barely restraining himself): “But quantum computing??”
Mikey:
“Yeah it’s amazing… but like, don’t bother. It’s hard. Let the government pay for it.”
Wow, what an inspiring entrepreneurial spirit.
Sunovation™: “If it’s hard, quit.”
đź’¸ Paywall Magic = “Validation”
Mikey:
“We knew we were a real company when people hit the paywall and didn’t quit.”
No Mikey, you knew you were a real company when you figured out how to ration dopamine behind a $300/year subscription and still convince people they were artists.
Suno: it’s like Guitar Hero, except they charge you for each note.
🎯 “AI Will Totally Save Music… Trust Me”
Mikey’s dream future:
- Everyone becomes a “music creator.”
- Every playlist is just auto-generated AI slop.
- Real artists get replaced with 14-year-olds typing “dreamy indie sad vibes dog run sunset.”
Congratulations: you killed scarcity, flooded the market, and now music is as valuable as “grilled cheese recipes on TikTok.”
🎤 Closing Note: “Taste > Skill”
Mikey:
“Skill doesn’t matter anymore. Only taste.”There it is!
The battle cry for a generation of prompt goblins.
Why bother learning an instrument when you can type “emo heartbreak acoustic vibes 75 bpm” into a textbox and call yourself the next John Mayer?
