🎧 “Alexa, Gentrify Music”: Amazon Teams Up with Suno to Mass-Produce Soul-Free Songs at Scale
By BRAINWALLLLLLLLL
Just when you thought the soul of music had already been chopped up, algorithmically pureed, and sold back to you in a chillhop Spotify playlist titled “Lo-Fi Vibes for When You Can’t Feel Anymore”, Jeff Bozos emerges from his anti-union panic room with a new scheme: Alexa + Suno = Musical Oblivion.
Yes, it’s real. Amazon has officially partnered with Suno-the AI music generator best known for making eerily decent songs in seconds and existential crises in minutes. Now your friendly surveillance hockey puck, Alexa, won’t just listen in on your arguments—she’ll turn them into a pop song.
“Alexa, write me a hip-hop track about my therapy session and the Chipotle burrito that ruined it.”
Done. In under 10 seconds. With full lyrics, vocals, instrumentation, and zero royalties to any actual human being.
🎶 They Couldn’t Be Stopped by Tariffs—So They Came With Riff-Offs™
Forget trade wars-Amazon and Suno have entered the global market of creative theft with weapons far more insidious than steel or semiconductors. No tariffs can touch them. Why bother importing culture when you can clone it?
Suno’s newest export: AI-generated Riff-Offs-melodies and lyrics that sound just familiar enough to make you uncomfortable, but not quite lawsuit-worthy (for now). It’s like buying a bootleg Beatles song from a robot that’s never felt love but has studied it extensively in a spreadsheet.
These aren’t just riffs. They’re algorithmic knock-offs of artistic expression-riffs with diplomatic immunity. And Amazon’s entire supply chain just shifted from packages to packages of chords, delivered straight to your ears with zero customs oversight.
📉 The Music Industry: From DIY to AI to WTF
Once upon a time, we had garage bands. Then we had bedroom producers. Now we have voice-commanded content generators. With one sentence, Alexa can produce a better-than-it-should-be song that sounds like your favorite artist’s B-side… if that artist were a sentient blender trained on 40,000 hours of Spotify Top 50.
The kicker? It’s all being marketed as a tool for creativity-you know, the kind that completely erases the people who create things.(…rest of the article continues…)
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